Just for a moment, imagine that you are a benefits coordinator in a company’s HR department.

You have been fielding a steady stream of questions about open enrollment and your company's benefits package. Not only that, but because your employee population is so diverse, and its health care needs so varying, you constantly feel pressure to help each employee choose the appropriate plan for themselves and their families. And then there is the cascade of employee complaints about benefits.

Would you want to swap jobs with that benefits coordinator?

Step into their shoes

Carrying that thought into your meeting with the benefits administrator is the first step in handling difficult clients with grace.

Why? It’s a way of stepping into their shoes and seeing their work world through their eyes. It allows you to empathize with their everyday plight – and find solutions that work for them.

Show your empathy

The world of health-related insurance is highly competitive. How that impacts the company benefits coordinator is often confusing: there are, after all, a number of specific types of insurers, several plans for each insurer and loads of details and paperwork. Let’s not forget the nuances of health reform that they also need to contend with.

Starting your meetings or phone contacts with clearly stated empathy about the number of plans and details, and the amount of paperwork that the benefits coordinator has to juggle is likely to elicit a smile at the least.

On a difficult day

Let’s say you have approached the meeting with empathy and expressed your empathy to your client. Yet there are days when you feel that there is nothing you can do to please your client. Everyone has a bad day now and then – how can you turn theirs around? Here are a few tips for lowering the client’s resistance, overcoming objections and cementing the deal.

• Treat the client respectfully—even if he or she is having a bad day. Try to draw out the client by saying something like, I’m sorry your day isn’t going well. Then pause to allow them to vent about their day—or anything else—without your commenting.
• Find a way to empathize with their plight.

In general, it’s all about setting the client at ease with how you communicate. Here are a few tips to assist you:

• Communicate with clients in the way they prefer. If they prefer social media, use that. If they like phone calls, pick up the phone. If they asked for face-to-face meetings, set the appointment.
• Do more listening than talking. Not only will clients appreciate the softer approach, but you may also hear something that helps you empathize better with their situation and understand their needs.
• Paraphrase. Make sure you both are on the same page.
• Never argue a point directly. Instead, smile and find a way to agree. Saying, I realize that part of the plan is a bit confusing so maybe I can be helpful to you with that, is much more appealing than saying, You are wrong about that part of the plan.
• Figure out whether they prefer to dive into details or just off-load those to you.
• Above all, remain calm, and offer help.
• Finally, ALWAYS point out that you are there to be a partner with them in delivering the best insurance packages to their employees.

Prevention: the best policy

Spending the time up front to develop a personal relationship with clients is your best insurance against their becoming difficult to handle. Once they see that you are there as a partner to solve some of their insurance problems, the client will feel comfortable about discussing it with you calmly and professionally if a difficulty arises.

The combination of empathy and relationship-building is indeed the magic touch when it comes to handling difficult clients with grace.